Thursday, November 15, 2007
Today...
Cancer sucks. I finally got mad yesterday. I know Missy will be glad to hear that!! Why did I get breast cancer? It doesn't make sense. It certainly isn't fair. I wonder if God is playing a cruel joke on me and then I wonder if there is a God. Also, what is in our environment? Why do 1 out of 7 women get breast cancer? What kind of insane statistic is that? It just isn't right. We need to figure it out. I am too damn young to be battling for my life. I should be playing with my kids, worrying about what to fix for dinner, taking trips with my husband, bitching about work, etc. All of those things that everyone else is taking for granted. But, I am left with looking at my scarred chest, worrying about cancer cells that could have been left behind, dreading my next treatment, waiting for my hair to fall out, thinking about radiation in my future, all while I try to keep a smile on my face. Well, f*** the smile. I am human everybody. It isn't ok that I have cancer. So, I'm pissed. But, you all know me and I will get through it. I will tolerate the next treatment, I will cry when my hair is gone, but I will survive. The love for my girls can get me through anything.
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11 comments:
Susie,
Get Mad,I am mad with you...
I love you too.........
Terrie
Getting mad is a good thing...! It's part of the coping cycle and at some point (despite how level-headed and emotionally stable you are - and YOU are!) a person is bound to get pissed and ask 'why me?' I know you will do what you always do and turn that into a positive and it will help you get through it all... I love you (but I am still pissed!). xoxo ~ Missy
Susie,
It was bound to happen. You have to get angry to put on those pink boxing gloves. Very few of us can know all that you are feeling and experiencing, but we're behind you...and will do whatever it takes to support you. Love ya, Marie
I saw the F bomb in there and was PROUD! Now I know we're realted Sue! Get as mad as you want honey, you have every right! You WILL fight this, with the help of your Hubby, kiddos, and insane family members! I love you so much, and every day I have a Susie thought! You are always on my mind.....
Cousin Kerry
That's my girl! Let's see that fire! lots of love~Care
Susie,
I've been trying to read your blogs and keep up with them. I wish there was more I could do than just send cards and emails and offer support over the internet. But please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that people say everything happens for a reason and you WILL find that reason! Keep fighting girl!!! We are all rooting for you.
Love,
Julie
Susie,
I am thinking about you daily.
I am speechless as to what to say at this point.I will keep you in my prayers.You were such an encouragement to me over the summer when my husband and I was going through our ORDEAL.I hope I can reciprocate the same to you.I know it's hard to believe that God would put you through such an ordeal,But I don't think He would.But we both know that the other one would!!! Keep up the fight and lean on God. He won't let you down. I miss you.
Denise
Susie, will I sit here at work and thinking about you, and know that you are going to do great. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
If there is anything that I can do besides my prayes you let me know. If you need to call and just scream or talk I am hear and am more than willing to help in any way I can. Sure do miss you. Love, Cathe
HAY!! SUSIE!!,
GO MAD!!! Mad gives you focus...stay mad and FIGHT!! You will beat this f***ing thing...As always you are in my thoughts...I miss you daily...You are very loved...
your FDT!! ;-)
So the other day I was going through a box of photos and found one of you and I cracking up at Grandma's house. We both had a SHINY braces on! I now think of that photo daily and it makes me smile...I would do anything to see you smile. Love you!
Amy
Get mad Susie - we are all mad with you... mad that something like this has stepped into your life and thrown you a curve ball... But you will knock this curve ball out of the stadium no doubt - why? because your the amazing Susie... my new hero...
_ your cousin Rob
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