Catch up

I am finally feeling better after last weeks crap treatment. It is really getting harder to stay positive about that place. The room has a certain smell that I can't get out of my nose. My stomach lurches when I think of it and I physically want to throw up. I am starting to have a hard time with other smells. Nail polish remover. It smells like the heparin they flush my port with. Paint. Kinda smells like the chemo room. Anyway, I go back to that place again next week and I will spend every week there for quite a long time. Guess I need to suck it up and put on some lipstick! I hear that works! So, I am planning some time away. I need ideas as to where Rick and I can get away that won't cost us a fortune. He and I can really use a break. Have I told you what a handful my girls are? They are going to make me pull out my hair!!! Carra is testing every limit and Carina just climbs up on everything that could cause a fall and break a bone. Every once in a while I have that "I should be a stay at home mom" thought. And then I spend one afternoon alone with them!! That's all it takes. One afternoon. I already want to go back to work. (Sherri, are you glad to hear me say that?) The good thing about this "hiatus" is that the nurses will appreciate me more. When I go back I can really be bossy!! (I really miss you gals.) I am kinda sounding bummed and mushy. I swear I am in a good mood and happy. I hope everyone is well. Love ya.

(had to take out the c word!) tomorrow

So, round 4 is tomorrow morning. I am dreading this one more than the others. I don't really know why. I start weekly treatments in a few weeks and that will last a year. I can't stand the thought of going to the office every week for a year. I love everyone there, but shit. There is only so much a person can take! Well, my mom came down again. What would I do without her. She helps so much with the kids. She and I have already had a little retail therapy. She went with me today to visit Dr. McHottie. Hopefully he will never read this. Anyway, he is a dream. Lost my train of thought. All I can think about is how he was looking at me today while he was filling my boob. (I know he loves me.) He must! Oh God, I am whacked. Now all I can say in my head is He Must, He Must, He Must increase My Bust! That is too frickin funny. I crack myself up, and I haven't taken any of the good drugs yet! Needless to say, he is so cute. He finished filling my expander today. Now we just wait until radiation is finished and then we can proceed with finishing my breasts. I am walking around with one natural, sagging into the armpit, nipple pointing to toes breast and one larger, standing at attention, no nipple to cause embarrassment fake boob! I look great naked! The new boob actually looks fantastic. I am so happy with his work. I recommend him to anyone that is considering plastic surgery. And like my girlfriend says: "Just go in for a consult and he will feel you up!" Worth the money! Love to all. Rich, you are in my thoughts daily.

Happy New Year!

So, 2008. I believe this is my year of healing. My resolutions are pretty simple: remission, vacation, and celebration! Probably in that order. Oh, I am also going to have a birthday party for myself this year and hopefully every year for the rest of my life. Why the hell not. It is time for all of us to celebrate life, and what better way to do that ~ celebrate the day we were born! Stop taking this life and those we love for granted. Why is it that it takes something for cancer to actually bring meaning to things like "Don't sweat the small stuff." Which by the way is a great book. Did you know that the author of that book died? His wife has put a book together that is coming out this month. I think it is about the letters he wrote her throughout their marriage. I may be wrong. I will let you know because I plan on reading it as soon as I can get it. I just finished For One More Day by Mitch Albom. Everyone should read it. You will treat your mother with more respect when you are done. I need to add it to my book list. Enough rambling for now. I have treatment again on Thursday, so I will add another post later that week. I do want to ask that all of you send out prayers, well wishes, vibes (whatever you fancy) to my friend Rich. I am sure he would appreciate them right now.